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What makes a good neighbor"
"One who listens to all your noise, but don's say nothin'."
Milton Johnson, Milaca
"I have the most wonderful neighbors. I just lost my husband this spring. I live in the country and I have to depend on my neighbors." -
Carolyn Ingle, Foreston
You never know what you’ll get when it comes to neighbors.
They can be messy, throw noisy parties, or use your property without permission. But they might also be supportive, respectful, and there for you when you really need someone.
So, what makes a good neighbor? And how can you improve upon our neighborliness?
First, we should note the very definition of neighbor is flexible.
If you live in the country, your nearest neighbor could be a mile away. In town you might live so close to your neighbor you can see in their living room window (whether you want to or not).
For John and Kathy Johnson of rural Milaca, they were grateful when their neighbors, Lisa and Eric Lommen, built next door.
Sitting at the Johnson’s dining room table, cookies and coffee at hand, Lisa told how the Lommens initiated contact by “checking out” their future neighbors the year before they built.
The Lommens were pleasantly surprised when John, who has planted nearly 1,000 evergreens on their 10 acres, took them for a walk, showed them around and told them all he could about the neighborhood.
Their neighboring friendship began before the Lommens even moved in.
Three years later, the Lommens can’t say enough about the Johnsons.
“Every time I call and ask for help, and you know I don’t like to ask for help, he’s always there,” Lisa said of John.
One time Lisa locked her keys in her car, so she called the Johnsons. Less than a half hour later, after locating spare keys in the Lommen’s home, John was there to save the day.
“It’s being able to trust, count on, and communicate with them,” Lisa said of her neighbors. “Even my kids want to hang out with them.
“To have a person pay that much attention to you, it makes you feel very special.”
“That’s all part of being a good neighbor,” John said humbly. “You can extend that neighborliness to others - some will accept that and others won’t.”
The neighbors relayed stories of bringing each other homemade meals, hunting together, driving each other to places at the last minute.
Lisa told how John once drove her husband Eric to the emergency room because she was a half hour away in the opposite direction.
“They’re always willing to lend a hand,” Lisa said. “In a world where we meet each other coming and going, it’s so reassuring to know there are people that are still willing to lend a helping hand.”
John, a retired police officer and commercial pilot, said, “I could go back to my Sunday school days and quote the two big commandants.”
He was referring to Matthew 22:37, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind. You shall love your neighbor as yourself.”
“It doesn’t just take a parent to raise your kid,” Lisa said, “it takes neighbors, coaches, pastors, friends.”
And the Johnsons have become like grandparents to the Lommen’s sons.
Meet your neighbors
There has been talk of a neighborhood block party and during the interview it was decided that’s just what the neighbors need.
“That’s our goal Lisa,” Kathy, a retired homecare worker, said.
So John graciously appointed Lisa as chairman of the block party committee, while saying the party could be held at the Johnson’s home.
They encourage other neighborhoods to have a block party to get to know each other.
Find out who lives in that pretty yellow house, or who owns the horses.
You might find out you’ve got a neighbor who could use a little help now and then, or maybe they could help you.
“I’ll trade you a fajita mix for a taco mix,” Lisa said of an easy exchange.
You might even make a new friend.
For the Lommens and the Johnsons, their neighbor-status is so much more now, as they’ve clearly become friends.
Sure some neighbors may not be the ones you’d pick, if you had a choice. But John says the best thing you can do is try to resolve any issues. There’s a feeling of accomplishment when that happens, he said.
Of course, you don’t have to host a block party. Simply stop over and meet that neighbor you’ve never talked with before. If you can’t do that, at least wave and smile at your neighbor.
As Lisa said, “It’s the simple things.”
Of course, there’s also the ripple effect.
You say something or do something kind for someone, they’re likely to pass that on to another.
Not only is a neighbor defined as one in close proximity, it’s also defined as one’s fellow human being.
It really comes down to the age-old saying, “Treat others the way you want to be treated.”
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